Fasting for Clarity

Normally, one should not brag or promote the idea of fasting. Fasting- the practice of abstaining from an action or actions for a set period of time- is something special for the individual that chooses to do it. However, I am fresh out of topics to blog about and since I am doing one right now, I just wanted to share with you my experience with fasting. 

Every year, I go on something that resembles a Daniel's Fast (Daniel Chapters 1-3; 10 from the Bible gives context). By no means am I pastor, but I'll try to give a brief synopsis: In Chapter 1, Daniel rejected the diet of the Babylonians because it conflicted with his own. He maintained that he would continue the diet that he knew from his past and promised that it would enable him to do the work commanded of Nebuchadnezer). When I was a child, I really enjoyed the story of Daniel and it's always meant something to me. The fact that he was able to attain clarity, peace, and strength by living a less decorated life, is inspiring. In my adult years, I made the decision to take one month of the year to emulate, to an extent, Daniel's example. 

 

And so, I take on a very strict, clean lifestyle for one month. I try to modify this fast by giving up everything that I over indulge in- so basically, I give up on a lot of stuff. From tv to certain music to Facebook, I retire all of the things that bring me pleasure in hopes of attaining focus. By getting rid of things which could be distractions in my life, I try to just work on me- become a better person. What am I like without Facebook? What can I do with my time instead of tweeting about Scandal or yelling at D'Antoni's weak use of the Lakers during a game? These are questions that a fast, prayerfully, can answer,

The first week was met with bleh results. This was due in part to the fact that I kept telling myself that I had a lot of work to do and I had to give in against my will. A little devil in my head kept saying things like, "eat that WaWa breakfast sandwich" or "play that song a couple of times" because you're in the final stretch of work. There isn't anything wrong with the aforementioned things, let me be clear about that. However, as I enter a stage in life where  I have to make a ton of decisions (and complete a lot of work), clarity, structure, and productivity are great things to have.

I've been much better this second week with following through with fasting and its been such a blessing. I've gained some of the clarity and focus that I've been longing for. I am just about finished my analytic essay for the master's program. I have completed a lot of the grading and small end projects for my classroom. I've accomplished so much this week and navigated through a couple of challenges quite well. 

This final week will be full of very big decisions and submissions. I really do believe that this fast might do a lot for me... I'll keep you posted. :)

Lupe's Strange Fruition and Teaching

Strange Fruition has to be one of the most thoughtful songs that I've heard in a while.  Food and Liquor II came out quite some time ago, true, but this has been the song that has really motivated me to write a lot of my lesson plans. I think the song, in many ways, reflects what has motivated me to be a teacher and what I think about each time I sit down to plan a unit. It's not so much that I fully cosign with the lyrical content entirely, but the song reflects the reality that a lot of experiences in this country have been suppressed and understated in our consciousness  Recognizing the sentiment of the song (for those who do not know, the song questions the paradoxical nature of the American dream and contrary American realities) and the traditional pro-American, exceptionalist narrative, I think that the classroom can be a means of finding reconciliation between the two. What does it mean to be an American and question the intentions of our nation's government and people? What does it mean to be a nationalist, despite more gloomy socioeconomic realities? These are only a sample of the questions that the history classroom, as a space, can interrogate.

Now I can't pledge allegiance to your flag
Cause I can't find no reconciliation with your past
When there was nothing equal for my people in your math
You forced us in the ghetto and then you took our dads
The belly of the beast, these streets are demons' abs
I'm telling you that setup in them sit-ups is so sad
The system is a slab

(Lupe Fiasco, Strange Fruition)

Spring Break/ Semester- A Big Fail? Hmmm....

My last post was a rant about how fake of a break my program's "spring break" actually was.

Well, it turned out that spring break would really be a break for me. Midway through the week, I caught a fever, fell pretty ill, and forced to the confines of my bedroom in Jersey. So yeah, I got the break that I asked for, lol.

I ended up going to Atlanta earlier in the week to visit my girlfriend. After a fantastic trip, I landed back North with an incredibly weary feeling. Despite the plush 50ish weather we were having up here, I felt like I was constantly being hit by the Artic cold. Knowing this feeling quite well, I drank a ton of tea and bundled up to avoid getting sick, but by Thursday night,it was a wrap. I spent Friday and Saturday sleeping in my room and trying to avoid a hospital visit, which ended up happening. On the bright side, I'm feeling a lot better and I got the sleep that I had been hoping to get! :/

Unfortunately, I did not get nearly as much work done as I would have liked. There were a ton of obligations that I had over break- meetings, work for my job, etc- that I could not fulfill. I didn't get nearly as much essay writing or grading done as I would have liked to. However, I am not stressed. I'm not going to let the "situation" get the best of me. There are so many things I wanted to do this year, that did not seem to get done. Two failed attempts to compete in a bodybuilding competition. Not surpassing work deadlines to have extended periods of personal time. Quality social time with friends and colleagues never really happening. Yeah, so much has not come into fruition. 

As crazy as this might sound, I wouldn't trade any of it. I'm learning a lot about balance, goal setting, human limitation, and centering. In some of the failures I've experienced, there has been a lot of learning.